The Art of Networking
By: Lexi Smith
Last week I attended a high profile event for professional women. As I watched the crowd engage, I wondered about the art of networking. My husband thinks I’m a natural networker. I am NOT. I fear being the woman with a wine glass in one hand, business cards in the other, and no one to talk to.
Over the years, I have come to appreciate the power of my mother’s advice: “Walk in like and act like you own the place.” I actually thought this was stupid –until I tried it. So, for what it’s worth, here are my tips and tricks to networking even when you are afraid.
Have one seasonal suit and one evening/cocktail outfit that you feel amazing wearing. Head to toe – do not scrimp on this investment. Make sure your shoes are stylish and comfortable and your purse has a strap – you will be standing and you will need a hands-free receptacle for all of your business cards, mints (a must), etc. Also, I wear a piece of jewelry that I know will get me a compliment. It’s an easy conversation starter. And, it works in reverse. Pay someone a sincere compliment to start a conversation.
Eat before you go and drink lots of water. The open bar is enticing but I don’t tend to eat much at these events. It’s very easy to drink a glass of wine quickly and have it hit me hard. At least if I have food in my stomach and am hydrated – I won’t get drunk on the first glass.
If you can find out prior to the event who is attending, craft a list of people you want to meet. Do your research. If possible, send a note or an email to those people you most want to meet at the event: “I’m looking forward to seeing you at X event. I would like to talk to you about (be specific). Hoping we can connect.”
Come prepared – bring your business cards and a couple of small note cards. If you see someone you want to meet and she is engaged in a conversation, jot down a note that says something like: “I would like to connect with you to talk about (be specific). Hoping we can catch up when you are more available.” At an appropriate break in the conversation, hand the note to the person and say, “I don’t mean to intrude, I wanted to give this to you.” The handwritten note will get positive attention and is much less awkward than desperately vying for her time.
Mary Kay Ash says to treat everyone like they have a sign on them that says: “Make me feel important.” When I’m most nervous, I find the best dressed woman at the event and tell her how beautiful she is. Every woman wants to know the effort she took was worth it. Likely – she’s not just the best dressed; she’s also the most connected – and now, you’re in her circle.
Lexi Smith is a lifestyle guru for the woman seeking positive change. She is owner and creative director of Being Fabulous!, a consultation and personal shopping service designed to help clients achieve a higher quality of life by finding their own signature style.
Right on! I once attended a “How to Network” event years ago and I never forgot the nugget of gold I found in it. The speaker talked about the posture from which most people enter a networking event – a pile of cards in hand, fear in heart, intention to make sure everyone remembers who they are when they leave. He said, and I quote, “WRONG!”
His advice, which I remember to this day, is to use networking events as an opportunity to make a friend – several, but no more than that. To listen. And, to serve. So, you stand before people and you really listen. I like what you said about genuine compliments. Agreed. He had his great little “3 questions to ask” – it helps when you’re nervous. I’ve long forgotten them! But, they were essentially questions that others don’t take the time to ask. Tell me about your business. What do you like most about it? What’s most challenging? Why did you start it? What are you looking for/do you need? Leave his/her with your card, but leave it with this thought, “I really enjoyed hearing about what you do. I’m going to think about your needs. If I can do anything for you, don’t hesitate to get in touch.”
Then, he said – similar to what you’ve noted and I love (the note before the event) – the next 24-48 hours, write a personal, brief note – provide an idea, an insight, or a resource for that person. Enclose your card, again. They’ll never forget your kindness or your authenticity. It’s not like you do it as a snazzy “trick” to get business, but by being myself and by thinking of networking as an opportunity to make friends and serve others, I end up getting what I really want – more business and more connections. Networking still terrifies me, but when I remember that, it helps me put the focus where I want it to be and where I’m most comfortable – on other people. Love your post, Lexi!
Thanks, Anne!
This is a fabulous article. There is definitely an ‘art’ to successful social and business networking. Feeling confident about how we look, how we will approach people, and what we will say to people with whom we want to connect are essential to preparing for networking events. Strong personal and professional introductions are useful networking tools. Being able to ‘tell our story’ with humble confidence and authenticity helps us to project our most polished, professional image so that we can maximize networking opportunities and engage the people we want to meet.
Don’t forget to carry your drink in your left hand. That way your right hand is warm when you shake hands.