What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?

By: Cynthia Cavendish-Carey

As I walked into a board meeting, a dear friend of mine handed me a button. It was a simple, little Christmas present that every board member received. Most were pithy and humorous, but mine was a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” My friend had no way of knowing that this brief sentence held profound meaning for me.

I had read “Leadership the Eleanor Roosevelt Way” years ago. The wisdom of this trailblazing woman from beaten-down orphan who transformed herself into one of the most influential women in history was interesting at the time. Yet, time and experience gives each of us a more interesting perspective – I view the lessons of Eleanor with new eyes today.

Life repeatedly dealt Eleanor Roosevelt brutal blows that left her with intensely low self esteem: the abusive undermining of herself image that she felt when her mother called her ugly; losing her father to alcoholism and her mother to disease; a “little mother” who was responsible for her younger brother whom she lost when he was four; enduring the hurt of her husband’s public affair and watching him succumb to polio. Despite all of these trials, she held her ground and used these experiences to strengthen her character. Ultimately, she created her own brand of success, which included “owning herself” as a leader. The quote that now graces a button is wisdom that she lived by and that offers guidance for leaders of both genders today, particularly women.

Lessons in leadership can be observed from every stage of Eleanor Roosevelt’s life, including …

• Respond especially to difficult circumstances beyond your control. Self-mastery is a key leadership quality that Eleanor Roosevelt exemplified when she wrote, “the influence you exert … through your own life (is) what you become yourself.” She believed that leaders “must master reactive tendencies and respond to problems instead.”
• Reflect upon the situation when you suffer a blow. Strong leaders understand themselves (i.e., “know thyself”), including what a crisis means to your sense of self and the sources of strength that can be drawn upon.
• Have the Courage to Change when crisis occurs. Fear is a natural response, yet Ms. Roosevelt instructs that “courage is more exhilarating than fear.” She advised stepping into the ring, observing that it’s never as scary as it first appears and discovering that we have the strength to “stare it down.”
• Accept Change and Take Action after objective assessment and reflection. She stated that overcoming difficulties “require(s) a capacity to readjust endlessly to the changing conditions of life.” Move forward despite setbacks that occur along the way.

Whether we admit it or not, many women are wracked by fear in some way, in some circumstances, or about some “thing.” Too often, this fear (sometimes accompanied by guilt) prevents us from realizing our full potential.

Lately, I’ve been asking myself, “what would you do if you weren’t afraid?” This simple question takes the power out of fear. Without fail, the answer is always very simple … I would do that one thing that makes me afraid; and, I would do it easily and fearlessly. And, doing so, I am owning myself as Eleanor Roosevelt did – having the courage to make change happen, taking action, reflecting and responding appropriately to what is true for me. In the bargain, I’m finding that life and situations aren’t quite as intimidating as they had once been. Maybe it’s just growing up. Or, maybe it’s that I’m coming into my own as a woman with my own style.

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Cynthia Cavendish-Carey is a business and marketing consultant. She is working on her first novel, “Kachina and the Butterfly Maiden,” which is a young girl’s journey to find her own divine feminine.