Manners Make Impressions
By: Demetria Pappas and Lisa Iadicicco
“He loves me, he loves me not”… Do manners matter when it comes to the loves in your lives?
Opening a door. A man not opening a door has become an acceptable practice of no longer being chivalrous. Men surveyed were not sure if women still liked this act of kindness. Men should certainly make the effort to open the door for a female companion. A woman who does have a man open the door for her must also remember her manners and thank him. And ladies you should always open the door for a client regardless of age and sex.
Take a seat. If you are hosting a meal, you should be the last to sit. Be sure your clients and guests are comfortable before you take your seat. If your man pulls out your seat, accept his gesture graciously. It is always nice to feel settled before your host settles themselves. Allow yourself to feel like the priority vs. taking a back seat.
May I help you? A man offering his support to help…Again, in this age of equality, men have trouble knowing when to offer a hand. Men are not mind readers, so give them some physical or verbal cues to guide them. If they see you struggling and don’t act after your repetitive tutorial…question your choices.
Be where you are. Unless you’re with a heart surgeon, your phone and his are unavailable. Texting or answering the phone when there is more than one person in a group is rude. It shows a lack of respect and disregard for the person that is in front of you. Being present in your interactions with others is important in both personal and professional arenas, so mute the phone, relax and enjoy.
Beep Beep. This is not a sign of love. If your date love taps the horn beckoning your presence, this shows a lapse of many things, most importantly, consideration for you. Most likely he is late, perhaps a bit lazy and not considering that you may need some assistance. Going to someone’s door and greeting them is the proper way to begin an evening or date. Also, it’s inconsiderate to inflict unnecessary noise on the neighbors. Imparting that information might curb the behavior.
“Taxi”. We have discussed opening the door for a women or client, but what about getting into a taxi or town car. The natural inclination for men, now that they have opened the door for you, is to let you in first. However, you have to then shimmy your lovely dress clothes across the entire back seat of the car which isn’t the best for you. So ladies…you should be last in and first out.
So, the next time you are with the “one”, observe his manners and pick a petal off a daisy to keep track.
If you need help in tracking your manners, send us an email at mmipgh@gmail.com.
Demetria Pappas and Lisa Iadicicco are the Co-founders of Mother, May I-a premier company that trains and teaches proper behavior, common courtesies and social skills updated. MMI is licensed to train professionals in Protocol and Corporate etiquette. MMI provides customized presentations for all audiences. MMI’s Mission is to share valuable information for everyone to improve their world–“Changing your manners, may change your world”
Wonderful article on the sometimes forgotten art of manners! Looks like there is more to a nice guy than just picking up the tab at the end of the evening. Thanks for posting!
This is a very nice clarification of acceptable behavior in today’s times. It should be shared with young people, especially now, during prom season. I would, however, like to make two points. The first sentence after “Opening a door,” is confusing and needs to be reworked. Also, I’m not sure that I agree with the advice under “Taxi.” The way it used to be done was that the man opened the door for the woman, she got in and did not shimmy across the seat, but stayed put. He then walked around to the other side of the car where he got in. Upon arrival, he got out of his side, went around to her side and helped her out. Considering the height of the heels women wear these days, they need help getting in and out of cars.
I think these rules and principles of common politeness are still completely relevant in a society where women vie for their rights equality. There are circumstances when that is appropriate and necessary, but on dates with men is not one of them.
One question remains about the “honking” to pick up someone outside their house. What if it is a work-related affair and it is students being picked up? Is it necessary to call them on their phone or can you honk when you have several to pick up? (This is relevant for any parent as well, who acts as a “child carpool chauffeur.”)
Thank you for reminding us that these simple gestures are usually no more than common sense and courtesy…it’s easy to forget when we’re twitterpated about our date!