Appropriate Communication

By: Demetria Pappas and Lisa Iadicicco

“If you can’t say anything nice …”

You’re mad, maybe even hurt.  Oh, and you’re right, they’re dead wrong.  You really want to tell them off, set the record straight, tell the world how you REALLY feel…

But SHOULD you?

Before you tweet, update your status, leave a voice-mail, or hit the “send” button on a text, IM or email – STOP, breathe and think it through.  Put emotion aside before you do ANYTHING – even if you think you have common-sense or freedom of speech on your side.

What could be the consequences? 

It’s out there forever!  That would be great if your work ends up as famous as the Gettysburg Address.  (And by the way, Abe probably didn’t author that speech in an emotional moment.)

Our actions and their results can be significant and enduring and can include personal, professional or legal consequences.  Ask Anthony Morelli, who thought creating a blog about his experiences with his ex on “The Psycho Ex-Wife”  was a positive communication method… a federal judge did not. You needn’t be an actress, politician or athlete to make an embarrassing mistake you regret.

What should we do?

Regarding communication it’s common to regret what we DO, not what we DON’T do.  Challenge yourself, “Is what I am about to do really improving the situation or am I simply fueling the fire?”

Some tips:

• Wait, count to 10, do nothing.  Remember – we almost ALWAYS feel differently after we “sleep on it” don’t we?
• Talk to someone you respect and trust.   Another opinion can prove invaluable.
• If you must confront, try it by phone or in-person.  If things deteriorate, there’s no nasty email that forces you to relive the exchange… forever.

Remember that old adage,”If you can’t say anything nice…don’t say anything at all!”

Call on Mother, May I for additional good communication advice at MMIpgh@gmail.com

Check us out on our website www.mothermayisite.org or call us at 412.531.2050 for more information on how we can help make your life experience…nicer.

Demetria Pappas and Lisa Iadicicco are the Co-founders of Mother, May I-a premier company that trains and teaches proper behavior, common courtesies and social skills updated. MMI is licensed to train professionals in Protocol and Corporate etiquette.  MMI provides customized presentations for all audiences. MMI’s Mission  is to share valuable information for everyone to improve their world–“Changing your manners, may change your world”