“Growing a Girl”

By:  Stephanie Benney

I am going to share something very personal.  I am going to tell you a gut wrenching story that I promise will have a happy ending.  When I was in my seventeenth year, I was raped.  As if the experience wasn’t  traumatic enough, the person who did this to me was very close to me.  I trusted this person and considered him a true friend.  This was obviously not an accurate analysis.

I never shared with anyone these moments that would run a dark and torturous loop in my mind, until I was a junior in college and started projecting the effects of this life altering experience.  I had become withdrawn, paranoid and afraid of men altogether.  I had an emotional weight so heavy on my chest that it pinned me to my bed and crippled me from any quality of life.

My roommates confronted me and convinced me to see a counselor through the school.  Once a week I would show up for my session and secretly want to hit her for asking me all of these questions.  I would think, “Lady, if I knew the answers, do you think I would be sitting here right now?”  I now understand what she was doing was necessary and would be vital to my healing process.  It has been a long and difficult road to travel and there are instances where I am still learning to not let my fear and trust issues get the best of me.  However, it has been an amazing lesson in getting to know who I really am and has influenced my life’s work.

From the beginning of time, women have been fighting.  We have been fighting for education, respect, equality, 100% control over our bodies, not to mention equal pay and a million other things.  Teaching our young girls to protect themselves and to fight back is pertinent to “growing our girls” into strong and fierce women.

We are fortunate in Pittsburgh to have some amazing non-profits and programs with this as their sole purpose.  The Women and Girls Foundation of Southwestern Pennsylvania is an amazing way for women to act as role models and mentors to girls from all demographic backgrounds.  WGF’s goal is to fight for gender equality and opportunity in all aspects of the female life.

While it is important for us to fight for certain freedoms and equalities, it is essential to train a girl to physically protect herself .  If we want to stop being victims, then we need to learn how.  How many women are out there today blaming themselves for their sexual assault or attack?  Lioness Martial Arts in the East End of Pittsburgh, works with schools, non-profit organizations and corporations to prepare girls and  women for situations of verbal abuse, sexual assault and physical abuse.

In my short 35 years, I have seen and been a part of an amazing revolution of women empowerment.   As women, we have the awesome responsibility of influencing our younger generations that they can accomplish any and everything they put their hearts in.  They have a voice that needs to be heard and they are not victims of inequality, injustice and sexual assault.  They are the seeds we will water to grow in our beautiful garden.

To learn more information on the Women and Girls Foundation, please visit www.wgfpa.org

For more information on classes at Lioness Martial Arts, please visit www.lionessmartialarts.com

Stephanie Benney is a “Sustainable Visionary” and also the new Pittsburgh Representative for Fuzed Marketing, where she helps companies increase their brand presence. stephaniebenney@yahoo.com