Reinventing Myself

By: Hilary Daninhirsch

My grandmother was my biggest fan, cheerleader and beta reader.  Most of my childhood creative writing fell under her gentle scrutiny.  The comment was always the same:  “You’re going to be a writer.”

I didn’t have dreams of being a ballerina, a mommy, or a candy store owner.  No, I was going to be a writer; the dream carried me throughout high school and into college.

Then something unexpected happened.  LA Law hit the airwaves in the 1980s, and almost overnight, my road not taken, morphed into the road that virtually everyone was taking.

Other than the popular media frenzy, I don’t know why I was drawn to the idea of law school.  I didn’t know at the time that being a law student and being a lawyer were as far apart as being a patient and being a doctor, at least in my experience.

Nonetheless, onward I forged through the latter part of the 1980s, graduating in 1990 and practicing, if not without passion, then perhaps somewhat listlessly, for almost a decade.

When I was expecting my first child eleven years ago, my husband and I found a way to survive, if not thrive, on one income.  Several years into at-home motherhood, however, I found myself itching to do something other than change diapers and watch endless loops of Sesame Street.

Returning to my roots, I contacted a local newspaper and was lucky enough to have the opportunity to start writing book reviews; soon I was “promoted” to freelance correspondent, a position I hold to this day.

Fast-forward eight years:  I am now the mom of two daughters, I haven’t practiced law for over a decade, and I have amassed a decent-sized portfolio of newspaper and magazine articles.

So why, if I am asked what I “do,” do I still find it difficult to say, “I am a writer?”

That question had an easy answer between 1990-2000:  “I am a lawyer.”

Then, in the early 2000s, I would say, almost apologetically, “Well, I USED TO BE a lawyer, but now I am a mom.”

Then in the mid-2000s, after I began developing some confidence and landing a few more assignments, my answer would be, “Well, I was a lawyer and now I’m a mom and I do a little writing.”

At some point in the past few years, I realized that I dropped the reference to my past life as a lawyer; however, I was still unable to say, “I am a writer” until very recently.

Because “I am” more than that, and I am more than what “I do.”  I am a former lawyer, I am a mom, I am a chocolate-lover, I am a chronic reader, I am a nice person.  I do laundry, I do carpooling, I do meal planning, I do volunteer work, I do the newsletter for my synagogue.

Reinventing myself, that is, transitioning from a lawyer to a mother to owning a writing business, was and is, pretty daunting.  I prepared for one career, only to leave it behind in the dust to stay home with my children, only to find myself, unexpectedly though happily, chasing my childhood dream.

After almost a decade of writing, I finally found the courage to order business cards that say “writer” instead of “lawyer.” However, I can’t entirely erase my legal background (nor do I want to):  I named my writing and proofreading business “Offer of Proof,” a legal term in homage to my attorney days.

I guess I must be a writer; it says so in print.

I am a writer.

Hilary Daninhirsch is a recovering attorney.  She lives in McCandless with her husband, two daughters, and a hyper dog.  When she is not writing, she can usually be found reading, driving her children to and from their activities, or playing Scrabble on the iPad.  She can be reached at hdaninhirsch@gmail.com.