I’m not good at grieving … brooding, yes – but not grieving.  Right
now, however, life is forcing me to address the grieving process.  My
great aunt is 96 years old and a tough old lady. Ever since I was a
little girl – this woman was my role model.  She was beautiful, had
the best wardrobe ever, and a she was the first career-centered person
I knew.  She was the senior seamstress at Azen’s Boutique.  If you are
from Pittsburgh, and you’re older than 40, you will remember this
store as one of the exclusives in town.  Her amazing clothes – she
designed and made herself, or bought from Azen’s.  When I was old
enough, she started to teach me how to sew. I owe any sense of style I
have to her.

Last month she started going downhill.  Her mind is sharp – but her
body is giving out.  I’m also watching her change from this beautiful,
put together, woman into someone who just doesn’t have the strength to
do the things she used to do – even comb her hair on her own.  It’s
breaking my heart. Instead of stuffing the process out of my mind,
I’ve decided to meet it straight on.  She knows her time is limited,
so we’re talking about it and spending hours reminiscing.  I think
it’s good for both of us.  When she gets tired of me, she abruptly
stops and tells me to go home.  I’m trying not to take that part
personally. I’m not sure what to expect when it’s all said and done,
and she’s gone, I’m trying to take this one step at a time.  If any of
you out there have some thoughts or stories to share on your own
grieving process, I could use some support.

Lexi Smith is a lifestyle guru for the woman seeking positive change.  She is owner and creative director of Being Fabulous!, a consultation and personal shopping service designed to help clients achieve a higher quality of life by finding their own signature style.

Sometimes when we find ourselves in the middle of a conflict it seems this whirlwind that caught us by the tail came from nowhere. While those surprising events certainly happen, most often we are actually aware we will be entering a conflict situation before it happens. It may be a forthcoming conversation, a scheduled mediation, or entering a meeting with a team that has been in turmoil. We can do many things to help us create a greater opportunity for a constructive outcome. I find two essential choice components to be 1) choice of attitude, and 2) preparation.

Attitude: Attitude is a state of mind. As you are about to enter a situation where conflict is apparent, attitude then, is the state-of-mind you choose to bring about the situation and to the situation. In most conflict situations a range of emotion exists: fear, anger, vulnerability, entitlement and many others. When you allow a particular emotion to be what pushes you into the situation, the conflict is significantly impacted by that particular emotion. When you are not merely led by emotion and are intentional about your attitude, it is attitude that serves as the point that directs the manner of your participation.

I watched this play out recently as I was facilitating a difficult conversation between a unit director and his direct report. The prior experiences these two participants had with each other were primarily times of frustration with conversations filled with accusations, blames and threats. When they chose to enter their conflict with attitudes such as curiousness, open-mindedness, patience, and receptivity, the environment within which the conflict rested was different, and resolutions that seemed impossible to reach no longer seemed so distant.

I find there are two points about attitude choice: the first is choosing the attitude you will embrace about the situation, itself; the other is, the attitude that will guide you during the interaction when it takes place. Choosing your attitude can make an incredible difference.

Preparation: Preparation is an essential ingredient that helps to create shifts in conflict situations. Preparation contains many ingredients. First, as noted, intentionally choosing attitude is a significant factor in preparing. Prior to selecting attitude, though, is permitting yourself to fully experience the range of emotion that arises for you when thinking about the situation you are going to enter. So, part of preparation is allowing emotion to have its rightful place.

A second component of preparation is making notes or doing a mind-map to become clearer about what it is you really need from the situation. I’ll often suggest people imagine the situation is over and that the outcome feels just right. I suggest they then go back and define the elements of what occurred that led to that feeling of rightness. When the elements are clear, you can then prepare to clearly work to reach those elements once the process begins.

Preparation can also involve imagining the many things that might be stated or asked by the “other side.” Again, making a checklist works well. Try two columns. One is what you imagine the other person will say or do. The other column is to imagine your own reaction and response. Once you become clear about how you might respond, you have created space to choose a response rather than merely responding on the spot. As with attitude, you can make choices about actions before you are in the situation that is so hard.

Finally, preparation entails some period of self-reflection to understand what you need in difficult situations. Does the amount of time impact you? Is your tolerance level for engagement no more than 30 minutes, or are you a person who can stay engaged in contentious interaction for several hours? Do snacks help? Do you typically need breaks? Does it help you to take notes? Are you distracted if the other person is writing? Knowing these things about yourself can help you be clear about the ground rules you might want and need to assure the process has a better opportunity of reaching a constructive result.

While attitude and preparation aren’t the only things that will drive outcome in a particular direction when conflict occurs, preparing and choosing your attitude represent things you can do to help move a situation away from confrontation and toward a greater likelihood of significantly reduced contention.

(Photo illustration: Jupiterimages/Getty Images)

The Anti-Antagonist is a personal opinion column by Ann L. Begler, founder and principal of the Begler Group, a Pittsburgh firm providing services in mediation, advanced facilitation, conflict coaching and organizational development. You can e-mail Ann via Ipso Facto.

It is estimated that nearly 10% of all women who experience infertility have a condition called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), which leads to ovulation and menstruation irregularity. I was one of those women. Each time I saw a new fertility specialist, he would say, “You don’t fit the profile of someone with PCOS.” Once he took a look at ultrasound images of my ovaries, he knew immediately that my diagnosis was indeed true. Many doctors can look at a woman and make the assumption whether she has PCOS or not. Common physical signs include acne, facial hair, and excess weight – often caused by an imbalance of androgens or male hormones.

My only symptom was irregular periods. At the time of my diagnosis, I was 23 years old, skinny from lingering disordered eating, no signs of abnormal facial hair, minimal post-teenage acne, and six to eight periods per year. It wasn’t outwardly obvious that my ovaries were encased with cysts. But they were.

There are several factors that may contribute to PCOS. These factors include genetics, insulin resistance, obesity, excessive male hormones, environmental conditions, and chronic inflammation. PCOS is thought to be a metabolic disorder where several processes within the body are out of balance. PCOS is not just a disease of the ovaries – the whole body is involved. Therefore, it is important to implement a whole body, or holistic, method of treatment to reduce the symptoms of PCOS.

I recently wrote an article for Without Child that shares my five tips for women with PCOS to improve their fertility and increase their chances of conceiving naturally. The first tip was posted this week — Reducing Inflammation: pH and PCOS. Check it out and let me know if you’ve had success or experienced positive health benefits by increasing alkaline foods in your diet.

Jess Pedersen is a Health Coach currently completing her training at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition. Her focus as a health coach is to help women with unexplained infertility, PCOS, and hormone imbalances discover a holistic approach to improving their fertility and ability to conceive. For more info, please visit http://bemamabewell.com

It’s now mid-spring and the focus of many is vacation.  Some of us still take our traditional beach vacations in the  summer months, while others are busy planning a winter escape in the cold, long months of January and February.  Are you looking to embark on a unique excursion?  Courtesy of our friends at Mother Nature Network, you can plan a vacation exploring some exotic rain forests.

Darien National Park

“Panama’s Darien National Park is one of the largest stretches of protected area in Central America. A vast land of dense jungle and low mountains, it contains several unique mammal species that are not seen anywhere else, five endemic avian species and hundreds of other types of mammals and birds. Lowland and highland rain forests dominate the Darien, but it also includes rocky coastal areas and beaches. Stretching along 90 percent of the border between Panama and Colombia, the Darien is, undeniably, a very wild place. It is not the type of destination suitable for zip-line-riding and boardwalk-walking eco-tourists. Nonetheless, guided tours, from daylong jaunts to multi-day expeditions, are available through tour companies and led by local jungle guides. The Darien is a cultural destination as well. Two native tribes live in small villages scattered around the forest.

Dominica

The small island of Dominica, located in the Lesser Antilles, is noticeably less developed than its tourism-happy Caribbean peers. That’s a good thing for eco-tourists, who flock to the island’s low-key, Earth-friendly resorts to dive, visit sea turtle nesting areas, soak in hot springs, and trek across the undeveloped interior forests and highlands. Jungle trails, many leading to scenic sights like waterfalls or geothermal springs, crisscross the island’s lowlands. Resorts like the 3 Rivers Eco-Lodge offer small cottages and tree houses surrounded by forest, while the Papillote Wilderness Retreat, one of the Caribbean’s first eco-resorts, sits on a mountainside and offers easy access to rain forest trails that lead past stunning waterfalls. Dominica is built (or unbuilt) with eco-tourism in mind, so it is ideal for people who want to avoid the Caribbean beach scene altogether and focus on jungle treks and nature-themed attractions.

Manu Wilderness

Most of the Amazon rain forest sits in Brazil, but one of the most exciting eco-tourism destinations in the forest is in the lowlands of Peru. The Manu Wilderness is home to more plants and animals than almost any other natural area on Earth. Hundreds of mammal species and 1,000 species of birds call these dense forests home, while 15,000 types of plants have been cataloged inside Manu’s borders. The forests here are as pristine as any other rain forest vacation destination, but the wildlife is the real reason to come to Manu. Jaguar, tapir and primate sightings are commonplace. Colorful parrots and macaws, as well as unique species like giant otters, provide easy shots for camera-toting visitors. The Manu Wildlife Center offers programs to eco-tourists, while guided tours (a guide is an absolute must in this wilderness) make Manu a remote-yet-accessible option for those who want to introduce themselves to the flora and fauna of the Amazon.

Danum Valley

Malaysian Borneo’s Danum Valley has some unusual plant and animal residents. Carnivorous pitcher plants and gigantic rafflesia flowers (some weighing more than 15 pounds) give this valley a truly exotic, almost primeval, feel. Flying squirrels, gibbons, Asian elephants and rare jungle rhinos all call the conservation area home. One of Southeast Asia’s first true eco-resorts, the Borneo Rainforest Lodge, still operates in the valley, offering guests an upscale place to stay in between jungle treks, canopy tours and river adventures.

Olympic National Park

Olympic National Park is home to another attractive temperate rain forest. Located in the Pacific Northwest, relatively close to Seattle in Washington state, this national park features a vast rain forest characterized by coniferous trees, fast growing mosses and ever-damp weather. The obvious advantage of Olympic is that it is easily accessible for U.S.-based rain forest-seekers. However, just because it is close to home does not mean that it is merely a minor league eco-tourism destination for those who don’t have the time or money to fly abroad. Rain forest covers the western regions of the park. Long looping trails make multi-day treks possible, and the park’s inner recesses are remote enough that people will feel like they are truly on a rain forest adventure.”

Happy Adventures!

Stephanie Benney is a “Sustainable Visionary” and also the new Pittsburgh Representative for Fuzed Marketing, where she helps companies increase their brand presence. stephaniebenney@yahoo.com

I hope you enjoyed the Girl Gone Wild post on Pittsburgh Magazine. If you haven’t seen it click on this! The pesto recipe was also featured on NPR Weekend Edition, on a segment by our very own Larkin Page-Jacobs of Essential Public Radio. It just happens to be NPR Food’s  MOST SHARED STORY of the week on Facebook (aside from a poll they had). Ah!Mazing!

Click on this for the story and the audio.

*An important note: you should not pull stinging nettles by the roots if it is growing in the wild. (Do what you will in your own yard). Cut the stems and preserve the root to preserve the nettle patch. This was my mistake due to over-enthusiasm and my precariously placed improvised bread bag to protect myself (did NOT want to get stung!) You can however, pull garlic mustard at will as it is highly invasive.

I had enormous fun cooking with my first share of my CSF (Community Supported Foraging) from Food Under Foot. It was exactly the same feeling I had when I had my first CSA back in the 90s! All these vegetables I was unfamiliar with and NOW all these WEEDS I was unfamiliar with!! Who knew those pesky stinging nettles are edible and rich with nutrients??

Stinging nettles to me are almost like the blowfish of vegetables. Not that they are poisonous but you have to handle it just the right way to be able to cook it and and enjoy it. And when you do (the gloves are worth it!), it is utterly delicious. In my maiden post on Pittsburgh Magazine, I share with you how to make a Stinging Nettle Pesto as well as how to make a Crepe with Chickweed.

Here I show you another way you can easily use wild greens. Just add them to your favorite Potato Latke recipe! These vegan potato latkes are simple to make and I use the same garlic mustard and stinging nettles that I used for the pesto recipe. But you can easily add ANY wild green such as dandelion (tastes like watercress or arugula), chickweed, lamb’s quarters etc. It gives your latke an unexpected twist (AND a nutrient boost).

For more information on wild edibles and the amazing nutritional value you can get from them visit Food Under Foot. Go to your backyard, and before you run that weed wacker, harvest some greens that nature gave you completely gratis!

Vegan Potato Latke with Wild Greens

I veganized a Food Under Foot recipe

1 large potato, peeled, grated
1/4 onion, grated
1 T flax seed in 2 T warm water
1 T oil
1/4 cup flour (I use gluten free flour such as buckwheat or rice flour)
Handful garlic mustard chopped – use more if you want!
Large gloved handful of stinging nettles, blanched to remove sting and then chopped – use more if you want!
Salt
Pepper
Olive oil or coconut oil for cooking

Mix all ingredients in large bowl.
 Lightly coat frying pan with olive oil (rather than deep frying, you can also bake these at 375 til browned, 30+ minutes) 
Spread a tablespoon of batter into pan. Cook on medium high (turning down if oil begins to smoke) for about 3-4 minutes until browned, flip and cook another couple minutes.

Leah Shannon is Chief Veghacker at The Brazen Kitchen where she blogs about food and food policy. She also holds wildly healthy cooking classes at Wild Red’s Farm in Stanton Heights. Her blog is at The Brazen Kitchen and you can follow her on Twitter @brazenkitchen.

You worry. You feel guilt. You blame. You agonize. You complain. All of these emotions conjure up stress regarding things you cannot control. But you know this. Yet you still stress over them. And worse yet, you lash out, withdraw or behave in a way that does not move you closer to your goals, costing you respect, relationships and peace.

Slay the Stress Dragon in the Moment

1. Write down the statement that plays over and over like a broken record in your head in your most judgmental voice. ‘Should’ statements are encouraged. “I should be in a better job.” “She should be more supportive.” “I should be happier.” “I shouldn’t be treated this way.” “I should not be where I am.” “They should value my performance more.”

Judgment statement: ____________________________________

2. Write words that describe how you “feel” about statement #1. “Hopeless,” “alone,” “angry,” “fearful,” “disappointed,” “depressed,” “frustrated.”

Makes me feel: _________________________________________

3. Write words that describe how you “behave” when you feel that way. “Cry,” “Listless,” “irrational,” “short tempered,” “withdrawn.” (Of course behaving this way brings on more stress.)

Then I behave: _________________________________________

4. Reverse the statement in #1 (“should” to “shouldn’t” or “shouldn’t” to “should”). Precede it with “At this moment…” and follow it with a “because…” statement.

Reverse Statement:    At this moment, …_____________________

because…__________________________________

5. Write words that describe how you “feel” about statement #4. “Open,” “content,” “relieved,” “alive,” “compromising.”

Makes me feel: _________________________________________

6. Write words that describe how you “behave” when you feel this way. “Be nicer,” “be patient with myself and others,” “pause and respond instead of react,” “show love.”

Now I can: ___________________________________________

7. How will you remember to ask yourself reverse “At this moment – because” statements?

It is difficult in the heat of a contemptuous moment or after a prolonged period of stressful perseveration to catch yourself and execute an exercise that will deliver peace and contentment. At that point a lightning storm is sending every available emotion in your head to the bunkers to take cover. So I tell my clients to place some sort of a reminder either on their desk, in their car, in their kitchen or somewhere they frequent to remind them that in order to hear sweet music in their heads, they need to be able to take out the broken message and put in a new one. That reminder could be on a Post-it note. It could be an image of a broken CD. It could be something from your past that signifies wisdom. One of my clients leaves a flashlight next to his computer monitor to remember to “put the light of reason on” when the darkness of stress takes over.

Don’t let stress take up space in your head. Slay it with reason.  Start now!

Mary Lee delivers presentations and webinars on “Step it Up! – Coaching at work.” Email her for more information.

Mary Lee Gannon is the president of StartingOverNow.com – Leading Productivity Solutions for People and Organizations. Mary Lee is a graduate of The Duquesne University Professional Coaching Program and an alumnus of the 2010 Harvard Medical School and McLean Hospital Coaching in Medicine & Leadership Conference. Her personal turnaround came as a stay-at-home mother, with four children under seven-years-old, who endured a divorce that took she and the children from the country club life to public assistance from where within a short time she worked to the level of CEO. Services include: Workshops, Meeting Facilitation, Coaching, Webinars, Speaking and Management Consulting. Areas of Specialty: Organizational and Board Development / Meeting Facilitation / Productivity / Goal Setting / Leadership / Life and Career Transition / Strategic Direction / Time Management / Divorce / Purpose.  Her book “Starting Over – 25 Rules for When You’ve Bottomed Out” is available in bookstores or on Amazon. Get her FREE ebook – “Grow Productivity – A Leader’s Toolbox” on her web site at www.StartingOverNow.com or by emailing her at marylee@startingovernow.com.

As some of you may know,  I was married this past April 28th.  I was finally lucky enough to find “the one”.   Since it is also the beginning of wedding season, 2012, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to share some of the sustainable aspects of my wedding and hopefully offer some tips for turning your big day into a sustainable one.

Having a green or sustainable wedding doesn’t have to mean hosting a hippie, tree-hugger event. The first thing you need to decide is what kind of bride you are.  What styles, themes, colors, etc do you gravitate towards?  I am a “tradition with a twist” kind of bride.  So, I knew I wanted my wedding to boast a classic, simple elegance.

Once you have decided what style you want to go with for your wedding, make a list of everything you would like to include in your big day, then start skimming.  With reality television shows revolving around bridezillas, dresses that cost as much as one year’s college tuition and multi-million dollar weddings of arrogant, big-bootied socialites, who marry large athletes, it’s difficult to come down from the clouds and back into your own budget.

You do not have to spend a ton of money to have the wedding of your dreams.  Many of the things we see in bridal magazines, such as monogramed cocktail napkins and ice sculptures are unnecessary.  Skip all of them and you will cut costs for the items that really do matter.  Figure out what is the most important aspect to you, such as flowers, and build from there.

I wanted my wedding to support nothing but my local community.  So, I started out by having my hair organically colored by Whitehouse Salon, Shadyside.  Not only do they use ammonia-free organic hair color, their business operations are also green ( I will get into this more in a later post); it was the first time I had ever had my hair dyed and wasn’t breathing in harmful chemicals.  My wedding gown came from the one and only Carlisle’s of Pittsburgh (the oldest bridal salon in the country) and was on sale, my florist was Allison McGeary of Lawrenceville (I only used flowers that were in season), my cake was from Jean Marc Chantellier of Millvale, wedding photography was done by my aunt and my ceremony and reception were both held at the Renaissance Hotel.  All of these venues are within a 5 mile radius of my house and small neighborhood businesses (Renaissance Hotel excluded) and hosting both ceremony and reception at the same venue saves your guests mileage and gas, plus eliminates air pollution.

Frank’s family and friends were coming in from New York, so I wanted the guest leave-behind to represent Pittsburgh without being tacky and cliche.  Since one of my passions is chocolate, we ordered beautifully gold foil wrapped milk chocolate bars from none other than Pittsburgh based and operated Betsy Ann Chocolates.

There are so many levels of sustainability when it comes to planning an event. This makes it nice, since you can pick and choose where you can be sustainable and where you cannot.  Taking a minor step in action in supporting your local community and helping the environment is better than taking no step at all.

Stephanie Benney is a “Sustainable Visionary” and also the new Pittsburgh Representative for Fuzed Marketing, where she helps companies increase their brand presence. stephaniebenney@yahoo.com

I have seen Mississippi Mud Pie make its rounds all over the interwebs over the last few years. I’ve seen countless variations, from triple-chocolate layer pies to pies with coffee ice cream. There definitely does not seem to be one standard recipe. Then I saw this… Mississippi Mud Cake. It defied logic that I would be as taken with it as I was. I am traditionally much more of a pie person than a cake person. I love pie crust. And whipped cream. And pie crust. Usually cake has to include an elaborate filling and sky-high frosting for me to choose it over pie. However, this Mississippi Mud Cake spoke to me in ways the Mississippi Mud Pie never did.

Much to my dismay, we didn’t get 8 inches of snow. In fact, we didn’t even get one snowflake. Seriously, weather people?! How do you get it that wrong? I got all hyped up for a snow storm, and was severely disappointed when I could, in fact, get to the store.

Back to the cake I made on my snow rain day. I think the tide may be turning in my feelings about cake. Perhaps the key to cake harmony in my life is chocolate cake with non-traditional toppings? I couldn’t believe how much I loved my dad’s favorite birthday cake when I made it a couple of weeks ago. Like this cake, it was also chocolate, made in a 9×13-inch pan, and wasn’t topped with frosting. That cake had a cream cheese center and a sugar-walnut topping. This Mississippi Mud Cake is topped with a layer of gooey marshmallows, then a chocolate glaze, chopped pecans, and coconut. So, basically, it’s amazing.

Slowly, but surely, I’m coming around to cake. I think it’s all about being non-traditional for me. I have quite a few more unique cake recipes to try, and I think I’m going to love them. If you have any you’d like to share, feel free to include links in the comments below!

In the meantime, I think I’ll just eat my way through this pan of chocolate/marshmallow/pecan/coconut awesomeness. Here’s to botched snow days and the wonderful goodies they yield!

One year ago: Hot Cross Buns
Two years ago: Soft and Chewy Sugar Cookies
Four years ago: Cheddar Corn Chowder

Mississippi Mud Cake

Yield: 12 servings

Prep Time: 20 minutes | Bake Time: 30 to 40 minutes

For the Cake:
1½ cups all-purpose flour
1½ cups granulated sugar
¾ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1½ teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup whole milk
8 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 cups miniature marshmallows

For the Chocolate Glaze & Toppings:
1 cup pecan halves
½ cup semisweet chocolate chips
¼ cup light corn syrup
¼ cup heavy cream
½ cup shredded sweetened coconut

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Spray a 9×13-inch baking pan with nonstick cooking spray; set aside.

2. Make the Cake: In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder, and salt; set aside. In a medium bowl, whisk together the milk, butter, eggs, and vanilla extract. Add the milk mixture to the flour mixture and use a rubber spatula to gently fold it together until just combined. Pour the batter into the prepared cake pan. Bake for 30 to 40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean and the cake is firm to the touch.

3. Remove the cake from the oven and evenly scatter the miniature marshmallows over top. Return to the oven for 5 minutes to melt the marshmallows. They will be puffy and lightly browned.

4. Reduce the oven temperature to 325 degrees F. Spread the pecans on baking sheet in a single layer and bake until fragrant, about 10 minutes. When cool enough to handle, coarsely chop the pecans.

5. Meanwhile, Make the Chocolate Glaze: In a medium saucepan, combine the chocolate chips, corn syrup, and heavy cream. Stir over medium-low heat until the chocolate is melted and the glaze is smooth. Pour the chocolate mixture over the top of the cake. If necessary, use the back of a spoon to gently spread the chocolate over the marshmallow layer so it is evenly covered. Sprinkle with the pecans, and then the coconut. Let cool completely before serving. Store leftovers tightly wrapped (or in an airtight container) at room temperature.

(Recipe adapted from Pennies on a Platter, originally from Paula Deen’s Southern Cooking Bible)

 

Michelle Norris is a passionate foodie, baker, writer and eater. Visit her website at www.browneyedbaker.com for hundreds of delectable recipes and planning tips.

Feeling and conveying gratitude is an essential function on one’s journey to peace and happiness. This is not limited to our emotional realm, but also affects our physical realm. Repetitive positive thought/activity can literally, physically rewire your brain. This is known as neuroplasticity. A significant amount of people I meet or counsel who are depressed or unhappy are generally people who have lost touch with gratitude. Losing touch with gratitude puts one in jeopardy of developing a sense of entitlement. Having a sense of entitlement will lead to resentment, depression, and anger. Research has shown that a person who expresses or feels gratitude on a consistent basis rates significantly higher in terms of life happiness and success. Although our lives don’t always go in the direction that we would like them to, expressing/feeling gratitude in addition to what we have but also for what is kind and good with the world, is one way to vanquish depression. Regardless of what our personal dilemmas are, it’s essential to PAUSE and value everything that is not only good in our lives but also others’ lives as well. This is easier said than done so here are a few tips and exercises in helping you develop and recognize gratitude.

1. First thing I do upon wakening is say at least one thing that I am grateful for. This does not have to apply only to your personal life but could be extended to nature as well. For instance, one can say “I am grateful for my family,” “I am grateful for the sun,” “I am grateful for my dog,” “I am grateful for everything that is kind.” This is all subjective and it is important for you to make it applicable and personal to you.

2. Begin a gratitude list. This list is meant to serve as a “go to” coping skill to remind you of life’s gifts that are often overlooked. Its function is to help you recognize life’s gift, especially when you’re feeling down. Carry it with you. This list should consist of 20 things (at a minimum) that you are grateful for. Make sure to include things you enjoy as well. For example, food in the refrigerator, sunny days, green grass, a kind cashier, etc..

3. Create a daily gratitude journal/diary. The difference between a gratitude list and a gratitude journal is that the journal is to consist of events/things that occurred that day that you are grateful for. This doesn’t have to be complicated. If you are someone who enjoys writing, you can make your daily entries as long as you like. If you are someone who does not enjoy writing, simply jot down ALL of the positive things that happened in your day or things that you acknowledged gratitude for.

4. Begin to appreciate everything with fresh eyes. Start with the basics and look at nature with wonder and admiration. For example: a sunny day, a beautiful sky, a rainy day when you feel like just staying in and cozying up to a person or book.

5. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Ask yourself if you’re the type of person who is self-absorbed/occupied. If there is something in your life that you’re unhappy with, take steps to change it instead of complaining.

6. Don’t take anything for granted. We are entitled to nothing but the pursuit of happiness and even that is a blessing in this country because in some other countries that’s not even an option.

7. Count your blessings. I have met individuals who are dying who still have the ability to express grace, courage and appreciation for the time they’ve had and the time they have left.

8. Count the “little things.” Notice all the kindness that people or the universe has bestowed on you. For example: a driver allowing you to turn, someone holding the door for you, a person who says “thank you.”

9. Interrupt the scripted nature of your negative speech and replace it with something positive or thoughtful. For instance, whenever I’m in the car and someone blares their horn at me, rather than respond with thoughts of “What an idiot!” I simply remind myself not to allow someone else’s issue to become mine and think, “Maybe he/she is having a really difficult day. I hope his/her day gets better.”

10. Wish well of others and bestow kindness onto everyone. Nothing makes me feel better or more gracious than giving back to others and to nature. When is the last time you did something kind for someone? Make it a regular practice to do so.

This could be the beginning of life’s journey to happiness for you. I personally think it’s best to follow the list in the order I have posted. However, we are all different and something that works for me, may not work for you. If this list is overwhelming, begin first with five that you can identify with and then every week add two more. With practice and consistency in showing/expressing gratitude, you will find that your life will become much more rewarding and you will develop a deeper sense of peace.

Beth Elko,MSCP, is a psychotherapist, personal and professional development coach, and co-owner of Evolve Wellness Spa. www.evolvewellnessspa.com

It’s that time of year again! You know, May 5th, Cinco de Mayo… the day that makes it perfectly acceptable to consume nothing but chips, salsa, guacamole, and margaritas for all the live long day. Quite a lovely foodie holiday, isn’t it? I’ve wrangled together a list of 20 recipes that are perfect for celebrating this very festive Mexican holiday. From appetizers, to dinner, and dessert, you’re covered. Be sure to check back throughout the week as well; I have a few more Cinco de Mayo-themed recipes to share with you in anticipation of Saturday! Enjoy!

Appetizers

1. Cream Cheese-Stuffed, Bacon-Wrapped Jalapeños
2. Guacamole
3. Homemade Restaurant Style Salsa
4. Jalapeño Popper Dip
5. Seven Layer Dip
6. Taco Dip

Dinner

7. Chicken Fajita Enchiladas
8. Chicken Tortilla Soup
9. Chili-Rice Dinner
10. Favorite (Hardcore) Chili
11. Grilled Fish Tacos
12. Homemade Taco Seasoning Mix
13. Jalapeño Cheddar Cornbread
14. Taco Rice Salad
15. Thick and Hearty Chili
16. Wendy’s Copycat Chili

Dessert

17. Caramel-Topped Flan
18. Dulce de Leche Cheesecake Squares
19. Margarita Cupcakes
20. Tres Leches Cake

What are some of your favorite things to make for Cinco de Mayo??

Michelle Norris is a passionate foodie, baker, writer and eater. Visit her website at www.browneyedbaker.com for hundreds of delectable recipes and planning tips.